Hermione's Loss
by meenyrocks
Summary: Hermione is with Harry. But she's not very happy. Enter the dark, handsome stranger...with a secret.
1. Prologue

Hermione's Loss  
  
Hey everybody! This is my first ever fanfic! So please don't be too harsh! And I welcome criticism.  
  
Disclaimer: Ok I totally don't like own like thingy ma bob... that Harry potter dude and all of his little friends...

Chapter 1: Prologue

The terrified girl let out a piercing scream as she saw the two bright yellow lights gaining upon her.  
  
She stood there, frozen on the spot, unable to move.  
  
It was as if her mind had stopped working: as if her brain had gone numb.  
  
It was coming; she could hear it speeding towards her.  
  
It was going to hit her any moment now.  
  
Then, all of a sudden, as if someone had pressed a play button, she unfroze, and tried to get out of the way.  
  
But it was too late.  
  
It was coming.  
  
It was so close to her that she could see the scratches from where she was standing.  
  
It was going to attack her and she could not do anything about it.  
  
She was about to let out one final scream when suddenly she felt someone's rough hand grab her right arm and pull her away from this yellow - eyed demon that was almost upon her.  
  
It pulled her to safety.  
  
The shaken girl looked up to see the owner of the hand that had saved her life to see a most handsome face looking down on her.  
  
She looked into his rich velvety brown eyes and felt an instant spark between the two of them.  
  
Then all of a sudden, everything went black...  
  
I promise that the next chapter will be much longer! But for the moment- review! 


	2. Hoping for More

Hey peeps! Look yeah I'm so sorry that I haven't updated BUT I had exams and I wanted to commit myself to them, and I did a new fic that was not rude or anything, not violent, in fact it was really simple, just a conversation between two people for the first chapter, but for some reason took it off and I got banned for a week, and the reason that I got given was that it was in "the wrong category" but I don't see how because I checked before I submitted it but whatever. I kind of got a bit scared of updating after that and I didn't put a chapter up with an author's note explaining why I wasn't updating (because of exams) in case I got banned again, even though a ton of people do it. I'm going put the new story up soon but I want to lengthen the chapter first because I'm going to put what I was going put in the second chapter in the first one. Arwen, you did manage to read it though, and thanks for the review you gave! And thank you everyone who reviewed this and sorry for making you wait!!

I really do appreciate your feedback, because I'm stuck in a bit of a rut with this story. I was going take it somewhere but I've kind of in a way changed the plot. This was going have the Harry Potter gang go somewhere abroad, and the main girl was going wake up from a dream in an aeroplane right now... but I've changed the plot, and I would really appreciate it if you told me whether this story was worth carrying on with!

I'm so confused-you know the last review I just got? That's one I gave

to someone else! So I think people have kind of made a mistake there...like they did when they took my story off...!!!!

This is for doughnut: a fellow fanfic author, my cousin and a great friend. Yay doughnut!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Chapter 2: Hoping for more 

The girl woke up and looked around, confused. Where was she?

She sat up in her bed and started to stretch, yawning as she did. She was stopped mid-yawn, though, by the realization of where she was. She rubbed her eyes, then looked around with a look of misbelief plastered on her face. No. She couldn't be. Not here, no way. It couldn't be true. Her eyes must have been deceiving her; maybe she wasn't fully awake yet. She rubbed her eyes to make sure. No, it was true. She really was here. She had been at St. Mungo's many times but she never expected to go as a patient herself. But why? She tried to remember what had happened but it was still a blur. There was one image that stood clearly in her mind, though, and that was of a most handsome face, the one belonging to the person who had saved her. She smiled to herself, feeling like a young schoolgirl with an innocent crush. She had never spoken to the guy or seen him before in her life, but in that one moment she had felt something that she had never felt before... there had been sparks between them and when he had touched her with his soft, smooth hands, she felt as if a jolt of electricity had shot through her. She was feeling all those things that the characters felt in romance novels... she had everything for the perfect plot; a young, handsome stranger and a young, beautiful(though she would never admit it) girl, and a strange meeting containing no verbal exchange but only an exchange of meaningful looks, which ended up with the two being rapidly separated from each other, neither of them knowing the likelihood of the two ever meeting each other again but hoping in their heart of hearts that they someday would. The girl did not know it but that boy was to become more than just a stranger to her. He was going to be the cause of great happiness for her and also a terrible suffering. Their involvement with each other was going to change her life forever in ways that she could not possibly imagine.

"Ah! So you're awake, then! Excellent!"

The girl snapped out of her thoughts and focused her gaze towards the door. Standing there, in shining white robes, stood a tall man with grey balding hair, who she guessed to be in his mid-sixties. As he approached her bed, he looked down at her with a big smile on his face. "I am Senior Healer Stepanian, head of this ward," he said, pointing to a gold badge that shone on the upper left hand side of his robe as the sunlight streaming through the window reflected on it.

Wait a minute, the girl thought. Sunlight? But how could that be? She might not have been able to remember much about what had happened but she could remember that it had been a cold, dark winter's day. But now it was quite warm and sunny. How could this be?

She leant forward and tried to question the healer on the matter. "H-how can it be? It-," she broke off, as she was overcome by a coughing fit.

"Here you go, child," the elderly man said, as he offered the girl a glass of water. "Now, lay back down-no, lay down now!" he said as he restrained her from any attempt to get up again. "I understand that you have many questions to ask, but you must take it easy. I cannot stress enough how important it is that you do so, Miss Granger-may I call you Hermione?"

She nodded. "Yes, of course."

"Right then, Hermione. Now, where was I? Oh right, yes. The injury that you have sustained has to be investigated further. It is a great relief that you have finally woken up but you must realise that you are not in the clear yet."

The girl was very confused and was struggling to take all of this new information in. She had many questions to ask him but even though she had only just woken up, she already felt exhausted.

However, it seemed that it didn't matter. It looked as if he was going to answer her questions for her. "Today is March 15th. You have been here for two days. We are unsure of what happened to you the night that you were brought in."

"There was a car..." she summoned up the strength to say.

"Yes, but that could not have been the cause of you falling into a state of unconsciousness because you were not harmed by it. It did not even touch you. We have been assured of that and I have to say that we are very puzzled to what could have affected you in such a way. We have some theories but they will require some tests."

"Tests?" she whispered. "So... there might be something seriously wrong with me?"

"There might be and there might not. As I say, we won't know until we run some tests. You shouldn't fret too much though, dear. It really won't help you get better. Think positive, eh?" he smiled, looking down at her notes, squinting as he did.

"Can't see a blessed thing..." he muttered and reached for the glasses that he wore on a rusting old gold chain around his neck. They were thick black horn-rimmed glasses with yellow jewels encrusted in them, and they

looked very similar to the vile ones that the woman Rita Skeeter owned. The girl stared at them and the healer misread the look of disgust on her face...

"Yes, they're nice, aren't they? I have a navy blue pair at home too, with orange stones..."

The girl hoped that the man was joking.

Suddenly, a tall young man came bursting through the door. He was dressed in smart black trousers and a black button up shirt with a collar, which showed off his muscular upper half. The intensity off his all-black outfit made his bright green eyes stand out, which were almost covered by a messy mop of black hair that the girl had once found so sexy and appealing. Anything that she had once felt for him was now gone. The sunlight pouring in from the windows may have been shining on him but he was no longer in the light. He was trapped in the dark and no matter how hard she tried, there was no way that she could set him free.

As soon as he saw that she was awake, the boy rushed to her side and embraced her. She went stiff in his arms but if he had seen this he was not letting on. He let go after what felt like a lifetime and kissed her softly on her forehead with both of his hands placed at either side of her head, then looked down at her face; it seemed as if he were looking for a response. But she gave him known and would not even look at him. He released his grip and placed his hands own hers instead. She looked into those eyes of his that had once hypnotised her so but now did nothing for her. He squeezed her hands and said in an almost whisper, "I've been so worried about you. I was so scared that I was going to lose you. I-I don't know what I would have done without you."

She did not say anything. He might be acting lovingly and attentively right now but she knew better. She knew that it would not last and that she could not let herself be carried away by it.

"Mr. Potter has been waiting here day and night for you," Healer Stepanian said with a smile.

She saw the boy smile at her too. "Anything for my Mione."

There was that smile again. Maybe she could trust him then. He had been waiting for her-he must really care for her, right?

No, Hermione, she told herself. Do not do this too yourself. Do not let yourself be taken in again. You cannot let him in.

"Am I right to assume that the two of you want to be alone for a while?" the healer asked, as he headed towards the door.

"But," she started, stopping the healer in his tracks. "I need to know more. What's going to happen to me?"

Healer Stepanian turned to look at her. "I wouldn't worry so much if I were you. It may be just a simple matter of a nervous breakdown, in which case you need to relax anyway. Fretting yourself with worry is not going to do you any good. You are in good hands here so calm down, ok?"

His words may have seemed a little harsh but the tone in which he spoke was very comforting. She needed and, smiling at her, the healer left the room.

It was just her and the boy now. There was an awkward silence in the room. The boy spoke first.

"Sorry that I left the room," he said with an apologetic smile. "I had to use the bathroom."

"It's ok," she mumbled."

"No, it's not," he said. He gripped her hand tightly and leaning forward, so that he was almost whispering in her ear, "I should have been here for you when you woke up. I love you and I don't want you to every feel alone. I want you to know that there is always someone here for you.

Yeah right, the girl thought. So where have you been all the other times when I needed you so?

"When I saw you, lying there on the bed in here for the first time, your face so pale..." he started, "I felt so scared. I can't lose you like I've lost everyone else. Mione-" he broke of as his voice started to crack.

Still she said nothing. And whose fault was it that he had lost everyone else?

"I knew that you would be alright, though. You and me forever, eh? And you're in safe hand snow. I'm glad that you weren't found by muggles. Muggle doctors care so incompetent. Only magical people could have really helped you."

He was at it again. He would be so loving, then all of a sudden, as if something had taken over him, he would change, and be so...

"They-they aren't that bad, you know..." she lamely started.

"Oh, Hermione, that's a load of crap and you know it," he said, and she could see the anger forming on his face.

She sighed and sank back in her bed as he started to lecture her on the incompetence of the muggle world. When Harry got like this, there was nothing that she could do but just agree with him. If only someone could come and take her away from him...someone like that dark, handsome stranger...

She shook herself and told herself not to be silly. There was no way that he would want anything to do with her. He was probably a happy man who would not want to get involved with someone like her in a situation like hers.

Unbeknown to her, someone else was having thoughts very similar to hers...

The man paced the room, filled with fear. He was panic over many things: how long he could stay hidden for, how long it would be before he was captured, what they would do to him when they found him-but now, what he was worried about now was the well-being of that beautiful girl he had rescued from becoming road kill. She had unknowingly strayed into the path of a car and had frozen with fear, leaving him to rescue her. When she had collapsed, he had taken her to St.Mungo's and had only left her when he had been assured that she would be take care of. She was one of the most beautiful women that he had ever seen. A magnificent curvy figure that most other women would envy, a glorious mane of glossy dark hair that fell in luxurious curls, a pair of brilliant sparkly blue eyes (A/N: there is a reason for this! It's not a mistake!) and when he had picked her up, her tanned skin had felt so soft to the touch. She didn't wear much make up and she had been dressed quite simply and had worn a light perfume. She didn't need much as she was already such a natural beauty.

The man sighed to himself. He had fallen in love with her, but he was so sure that such a beautiful woman would want nothing to do with him. She probably had a family and a happy life. There was no way that she would want him, especially someone in his type of situation.

Both of them had no idea of how wrong they were.

So what's going happen there, eh? Can you guess? Do you even care? Well I spent hours making this nice and long (well long for me!) even though I'm very bad at describing things and I hate the ending but I really hope that I will get some positive responses from u guys!!!! Please no flamers!!! I do appreciate constructive criticism though!!! (how many fanfic authors actually say that? Well they are not crap at this like me and don't need it like me, I guess...)

By the way-what should I call this chappie? I don't like my choice.


	3. Meeting again, and a Hellish Dinner

Hey! So sorry for not updating! This won't be long, because I know that you can get in trouble for long A/N's, but I just want to say that I've changed the first and second chapters slightly-nothing really noticeable. At the end of the first one, there is an important one-I said before that a voice wakes her up. Well, as I mentioned in the 2nd chapter, this fic was going to go in a different direction, but I decided against it. So I changed that because she doesn't wake up to a voice 2nd chapter and I forgot to change the ending of the 1st one to make it all work. And in the 2nd chapter, I introduced Harry and Hermione's names earlier cos I was going to do a suspense thing but I couldn't make it work. And then I forgot to add the names in earlier, and people got confused. 

Does that make sense? If not, ignore it. You see, I just go with the flow. I don't really plan my stories very much. I'm not very organised-so please bear with me.

**IMPORTANT**: at some point, I mention here that Mione has brown eyes, but before I said she has blue eyes. That's not a mistake-you'll understand later. But in the meantime, do any of you care to venture a guess?

And apparently because of my reviewers I can no longer write in text form, which makes this very hard for me! **COUGH **W.I.F.L.F.A.G.** COUGH **See how much I love you guys! Okay well you just have to review now! Doughnut-you are the only person who understands the necessity of writing in a NORMAL way! No offences to you reviewers-I love you all!

See? This wasn't meant to be a long A/N!

ANYHU-this chappie is dedicated to... um...

Kerrymdb, for great reviews, and great fics. (Psst read her fics-they're well good!!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Good lord, just think what I could buy with that kind of money...

Chapter 3: Meeting again... And a hellish dinner 

"Whoops! Careful now!" exclaimed the young assistant healer as she caught Hermione just as she tripped over her bag and went hurtling towards the floor. "You just sit here, out of harms way," as she motioned towards a chair. Hermione tried to get up but the assistant wouldn't let her. "No, you stay here for now! You wouldn't want to be here for any longer than you have to, do you?" She smiled, and Hermione forced herself to smile back, but she wasn't sure. Could she face it? Would it be the same, or would he have changed at all?

She didn't much time to ponder. At that moment, Healer Stepanian walked in. He beckoned for the assistant to leave, and she did.

"Ready to go now?" he asked with a smile.

"Healer-when will you find out my results? What do you think they'll show? Will I-" she couldn't carry on.

"Don't worry, Hermione. I'm sure it's nothing. We just have to take these tests as part of routine. I don't want you getting stressed over them. That could make you even more ill, if anything."

Harry appeared in the doorway. "Hey Mione. Ready to go?"

They said their goodbyes and then the two left the room. Hermione wasn't feeling up to apparating just yet so they were going to drive home.

"Was it just me, or was that healer staring at me?" Harry asked as they made their way out.

....

The healer stood alone in the room now.

"Hmmm..." the healer said thoughtfully. "He was a nice boy...."

(A/N: I know, sick sense of humour-but I couldn't help it!)

....

Hermione paused when she reached the front door. Could she do it? Was she really going to let herself be sucked back into this world of unhappiness and misery? She knew that she had a choice; she did not have to keep doing this to herself. Just walk away, she told herself. You can do it. You don't deserve this pain that you've been inflicting on yourself.

She turned around and saw Harry coming towards her, holding her bag. "Here we are. Home sweet home," he said with a grin.

She forced a smile on to her face. She knew that she couldn't do it. She couldn't leave. There was a part of her that so badly wanted to be set free, free from this hell, but there was also another part of her, which was much more stronger, that wouldn't let her. "Yeah," she replied. "You got the key, then?"

He frantically searched through his jacket pockets for them. "Oh, crap. Where are they?"

Hermione could not help but grin as she watched him comically hunt for the keys. She laughed out loud when he stumbled into the bushes as he looked for them in the bag. He blushed and struggled to get up. Eventually he gave up and just stayed there, trapped in the bushes. After a few moments he called out, in a meek voice, "Um... Hermione? Do-do you think that you could...um..."

She ran over to him and burst out laughing. He looked ridiculous, with his glasses knocked askew and his signature messy hair looking more scarecrow-like than ever. He also looked vulnerable and innocent-like the Harry she knew from when they were younger, a Harry who rarely made an appearance anymore.

When she finally got a grip on herself, she bent over and grabbed his hand and pulled him up. In his other hand, he was clutching something shiny.

"Um... I found the keys..." he said quietly.

She couldn't help but burst out laughing again. Harry tried to keep a straight face but after a while he started to see the funny side of it and was laughing like crazy as well. The two held onto each other for support, as they were laughing too hard to stand still.

"Oh my god," Hermione said, as she struggled to catch her breath. Her sides were aching, but in a good way.

"It feels good to her you laugh like that again," said Harry, as he flashed her a sexy smile. "You look so much better."

She smiled. "I feel so much better." And she did. Maybe it'll be different now, she thought as they stepped into their apartment. Maybe me going into hospital was a wake-up call for Harry.

"I'll just go and put this in our room," Hermione said, gesturing to the bag. The words had only just left her mouth when the phone began to ring.

"It's alright, you can go, I'll get it," Harry said.

She went into their bedroom and bent down to put the bag down. When she stood up, she noticed a vase of roses on her side of the dressing table that hadn't been there before. She smiled when she saw that they were a lovely lilac colour, and thought back to the ball that had taken place in their last year of Hogwarts...

(Flashback)

"God I'm glad that those girls are gone. I can't believe that the year sixes and sevens have to share rooms together!" Ginny exclaimed in disgust.

Even though as Head Girl she had her own room, Hermione had decided to get changed with the other girls, because it proved a much more enjoyable experience. Well, maybe not so much for Ginny...

"Hermione, for gods' sake, will you stop pacing? You're making me nervous too!"

These words startled Hermione, who had been totally immersed in her thoughts. "Sorry, Gin! It's just that I'm so worried. What if he hates this? What if I totally disappoint him?"

"That's a load of crap and you know it, Mione," Ginny replied. She looked really annoyed now. "You and Harry are meant to be together, and you know it!"

"But that's it-I don't know if we're meant to be together! You saw what it was like with Ron! Everyone said the same thing then!"

Ginny sighed. "Mione, that was totally different. I was against it, wasn't I? I knew that you two were too different to be compatible. But you and Harry-that's different. You two are meant to be together."

Hermione sighed and collapsed onto a chair, not looking at Ginny.

"Mione?" Ginny's tone had changed now: it was softer and much more friendly. "This isn't just about Harry, is it?"

Hermione turned around so that she was facing Ginny. "You know that Harry normally goes for the pretty types, right? People like Cho..."

Ginny made a noise that Hermione couldn't distinguish. "Tramp..."

Hermione just carried on, as if she hadn't heard Ginny, "...and I know that I'm not that good-looking... what if he doesn't think I'm pretty enough? What if he still thinks of me as an ugly frizzy-haired brainbox?"

"Then I'd be a fool. "

Hermione jumped when she heard his voice. "Harry! How long have you been standing there?"

Sensing that the two needed a private moment alone, Ginny made herself scarce.

"Not long. Just long enough to hear what you just said. Hermione, you are the most beautiful, intelligent, caring, sexy," (Hermione blushed when she heard this), "and loyal girl I know. How could you think that I might not want you?"

At this point, Harry walked over to her, and gently took her into his arms.

"Mione, I love you."

This startling revelation stunned Hermione. Harry had never said that to her before. She looked up at him, and they both leant in for a kiss. It was not their first, but it held so much more meaning for Hermione than any other kiss before. No one had ever told her that they loved her before, not even Krum, who claimed that he had "never felt that way about a girl before," nor Ron, who went bright red just hearing the dreaded "l" word. She felt safe and protected in Harry's arms, and felt that this was the happiest she'd ever been.

When they broke away from each other, she whispered in his ear, "I love you too."

Harry grinned wildly when he heard this, and then said, "I have something to give you. "Close your eyes, alright?"

Hermione obeyed. She heard him mutter "Accio flowers!"

"Okay, you can open them now."

She opened them and gasped out loud. In his hands was a bouquet of beautiful lilac roses. They went perfectly with her dress, which was the same colour.

"Where did you get them from?" she asked in amazement.

"Hagrid's been growing some roses near his rose patch." Harry explained. "I found out from Ginny what colour you were wearing, and I thought I thought that you would like these."

"Harry, I love them! They're stunning!" Hermione said as she grabbed Harry and hugged him. The two gazed fondly into each other's eyes, until a sudden noise from behind distracted the two. The turned around to see a very sheepish-looking Ginny standing in the doorway.

"Ummm... sorry you guys... it's just that it's kinda time to go and I've left my purse and shoes in here..."

Hermione started to laugh. "Sure, Gin. You can come in now. Soppy moment's over."

"You promise?" Ginny asked with a smile.

"Yeah," Harry replied, grinning himself now.

Ginny grabbed her things and made her way out. Harry watched her leave, then turned around to look at Hermione.

"Should we go now?" he asked her. She smiled and grabbed her purse. She knew that this was going to be the most magical evening of her life.

"By the way," she asked, as they made their way into the common room. "How did you get into there? Boys aren't meant to be able to get into the girls' dorms."

Harry grinned. "Ah, now that's a little trick I picked up, thanks to some red-headed twins I know."

Hermione grinned back. "Of course. If anyone would find a way, it would be those two. Well, I thin it's best you don't spread this around. Remember, you set an example on the younger ones. They look up to us older ones, especially to "The Boy Who Lived."

"Aye, aye, Miss Head Girl."

(END OF FLASHBACK)

Harry walked into the room then, pulling Hermione away from her thoughts. She walked over to him and kissed him. It was the first kiss that they had shared in a long time, and it felt so good.

When it ended, Harry grinned at her. "I guess you found the flowers, then."

"They're beautiful. Thank you."

He flashed her a big smile. "Only the best for my Mione."

She noticed that he was still clutching the phone in his hand. "Who was that?" she enquired.

Harry looked really excited now. "It was Zacharias, calling from the office."

Zacharias Smith. He had had proved be an arrogant git when they had known him at Hogwarts-and to Hermione, time had made no difference. Unfortunately, for some reason, Harry couldn't see this. She would never have believed that Harry and Zacharias would become such firm friends-but they were. Almost as close as Harry and Ron had been, before... the thought brought a tear to her eye. No, Hermione-this isn't the time. Not now.

It was too late. He had spotted it. "What is it?" He asked in a gentle voice.

"I was just... thinking about Ron..." she couldn't bear to carry on.

The expression on his face became stone cold.

"Hermione, I promise, goddamit, I'll make them pay for what they did. I swore this on their graves... I'll make them pay."

She hated it when he got like this. Why did he have to do it? He knew how she felt about it. Why couldn't he find peace? He'd already ended the war: why did he have to start this now? He'd fulfilled his destiny: why couldn't he leave it at that?

"That was what he was calling about," Harry said after a moment's silence. "Zac says that he thinks he's discovered an organisation that they've set up. They're hiding all of those-criminals." Harry's voice was filled with such disgust, it sounded as if he was almost spitting out the words. "I've got to get down to the Ministry-this could be the major break through that I've been looking for!"

He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "I'll be back by seven at the latest," he promised, then waved goodbye before he apparated away. Hermione sighed and made her way towards the kitchen. She might as well try and do something useful instead of just sitting around and moping all day long. She was very strict in the way that she thought that people should always try and use their time productively.

Hmmm... I wonder what I should make, she thought to herself, as she absentmindedly pulled on a lock of her hair. She kept twirling it around her finger, over and over again, while she thought of what to make. Nothing complex, just something nice that Harry and I can enjoy over a quiet dinner.

She went over to he cupboard where she secretly stashed away her cookbooks. She had to make sure that Harry didn't find him, as he would have highly disapproved of them, as they were muggle cookbooks. There was something about muggle books that she preferred to those written by witches and wizards. Hermione had to use them because she hadn't perfected her cooking skills yet, and still required a lot of help. This surprised everyone who knew Hermione, as she had somehow always managed to become instantly skilled at anything that was thrown at her. Cooking, though, was a skill she yet had to master, and it was something that Harry enjoyed teasing her about. He himself actually happened to have a natural talent for it. That was why he normally cooked for them, but as she was still on leave for work while she recovered, she thought it would be better for herself to temporarily take the responsibility. That was, if she could ever find something in the damn book that she could make. Everything that looked so appealing was also very difficult to make.

She kept flicking through the books, hoping that she'd find something that didn't look too difficult to make. Finally, she found a dish that looked like it wasn't too difficult to make, and also looked quite interesting. She also saw a recipe for a dessert that looked delicious. A dessert would really make the dinner complete. She started to gather all of the ingredients that she needed. She wasn't in the mood to do it all by hand; instead she used a few summoning spells to gather what she needed.

Oh crap, she thought when she saw that she was missing a few essential items. She looked at the clock hanging on the wall. Well, it's only half past four, and Harry won't be back till six thirty at the earliest, so I've got enough time to go over to diagon alley and grab the few ingredients I need, then come back and make the food.

I'll have to apparate, though. Well, the healer did say I could when I felt better. Why the hell not? I'll be able to grab a bottle of wine, too, if I do.

She made a list of all of the things she needed. Then she pointed her wand at the food she had just taken out and muttered "Retunio," to put them back in their places. "Accio purse and coat," and they were in her hands. She put them on, then apparated away.

She stood there, outside the shop, feeling as if she had forgotten something.

"Oh, damn!" she exclaimed, scaring a few elderly women nearby out of their wits.

She apparated back, grabbed the list, then apparated back. In less than a moment, she was standing outside the shop once more. She stuffed the list into her purse, then walked in just as a woman from the group that she had startled before muttered, "The youngsters of today. I don't know..." The rest of the group replied with a chorus of "Uh-huh's".

(A/N: I tried to say "mm-hmm" or however you write it. Does anyone know? 'Cos I can change it then.)

.... (from now on, they replace stars, alright?)

He felt ridiculous, standing here, in this uniform. It was so cheesy in this place. And the woman who ran the place? He didn't know how he could bear it!

"Come on, now, son, cheer up! You young men today, always looking so broody and miserable!" Then she dropped her voice to a whisper. "'Course, that's meant to be cool nowadays, isn't it?"

He forced a smile on his face, when he really felt like throwing up. Anything to get this ghastly woman away from him.

Eventually she left him alone. Out of all of the places to be assigned, why here? I know, I know, it's a place that they wouldn't suspect me to be at, he thought. But god, it's humiliating.

He looked around the store. There must be something good about this place. Please god, let there be.

At that moment, it was as if his prayers had been answered. The shop door opened, and in stepped in a vision of loveliness, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. But, strangely enough, she looked familiar to him. He couldn't figure out where he had seen her before. Then it him. Hard.

It was the girl that he had taken to St. Mungo's the other day. When he had grabbed her, she had looked deep into his eyes, and the two had shared an intimate moment before she had collapsed. He had then taken her to the wizard hospital, and had left her there. He'd been thinking about her a lot since, but with all the problems going on at the moment, he had been briefly distracted. Now, though, his attention was once again focused on her.

"Hi," she said, with a smile.

"What a smile, he thought. God, she's beautiful.

"H-Hey," he stuttered. "H-How can I help you?"

She looked at him in concern. "Are you alright?"

He panicked. Stay cool, man. She doesn't know who you are! Remember, you don't look the same. She can't recognise you!

"Yeah, sorry. Umm, so what do you need?"

Yes, that was good. You sounded totally calm.

"I need everything on here," she said, as she produced a list from her purse.

He took the list from her, and in doing so, he accidentally brushed his hands against hers. He blushed, and then hastily looked down at the list in the hope that she wouldn't notice how red-faced he was rapidly becoming. "Alright, I'll just get them for you," he said, as he went to collect the items. He observed her from a distance as he did. Even the simple action of her twirling her hair made him weak at the knees. He didn't think he'd ever felt like this for anyone else before. Of course, he hadn't really been able to get involved with anyone before, because of the position he'd been in. but now-no, he couldn't. It was still too dangerous. It made him feel so angry-why was he being persecuted for something that he hadn't done? He couldn't help where he had been from. He had never given in, done what they all wanted him to do-so why was he still being persecuted?

It was because of the madman, he thought to himself. That bizarre prejudiced man, who thought that he was doing the right thing. How hypocritical, he thought. He had always attacked those who persecuted muggles and muggle-borns, but now he's persecuting people like me in the same way. God, is there no one who can help us?

"Um, hello? Are you done? It's just that I'm in a bit of a hurry."

Her sweet voice interrupted his thoughts. It was then that he realised how foolish he must have looked, just staring thoughtfully at the last items on her list. He levitated it with the other items, then dashed back over to behind the counter with them where he bagged them for her, after pricing them.

"That's 4 sickles and 3 knuts, please."

She handed him the money, and he gave her the bag.

"Thanks very much. We hope that you come again soon," he said, reciting the line that he had been told.

"Thanks," she said with a smile. It was then that he noticed something about her; her eyes were a chocolaty brown colour. But hadn't she had blue eyes when he had last seen her?

.....

There. It was done! After much hard work, she had a lovely dinner laid out in front of her. Now all she had to do was wait for Harry to come home, and they could enjoy it together. She looked at the time on the clock. A quarter past six. It wouldn't be long now, then.

....

It was a quarter to seven now, and no Harry. It's all right, she told herself. He said he would be here seven at the latest. He's still got plenty of time.

Although, Harry had always been so punctual when they'd moved in together, He had been slacking off in the last few months, but he wouldn't be late today, would he, when she had just come from the hospital? Or was she just kidding herself?

....

It was a half past eight now. The food was cold. She heated up some for herself and started to eat. At least she'd made a cold dessert.

....

The clock struck ten. She wiped the tears off her face, and started to put everything away.

....

A half past eleven. There was no stopping the tears now.

....

A quarter past twelve. She started to get ready for bed.

....

Half past twelve. Just as she was about to get under the covers, she heard someone come in the front door. Finally. He'd made an appearance.

She went to greet him, expecting to hear some excuses followed by grovelling. Something like, "I got held up at the office," and "I'm sorry I forgot to ring," and "Please let me make it up to you." Something along the lines of that, and maybe she would have been able to forgive him.

She didn't expect him to stumble over to him, with the smell of alcohol on his breath.

"Helloooooo, Herm-Herm- you have a funny name!"

She pushed him away from her. "What the hell? Have you been drinking?!"

"Sleepy time now," he muttered, as he collapsed onto the living room floor.

Sprawled out there, on a heap, he didn't look sweet or cute, and certainly not sexy anymore.

"Good night Harry," she said in disgust, and then made her way into their bedroom to get some sleep.

....

The next morning, she was up before him. She got dressed and then made her way into the kitchen to make some breakfast. The living room was on the way to the kitchen, and Hermione didn't hesitate to step on Harry as she crossed it.

"Ow!" he groaned.

She looked at him with an innocent look on her face. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Did I hurt you?"

"Yeah, you kind of did," he grumbled, as he struggled to sit up. "Shit, my head. God, I have the worst hangover ever!"

She bent down." Let me help." She pretending to be massaging his head then slapped it really hard. "Of course you do! That's what happens when you go out and get drunk, you stupid jerk!" she yelled at him.

"Damn, Hermione, what was that for?" he shouted.

"That was for last night," she shouted back. "That was for going out and getting wasted when you were meant to be having dinner with me!"

"So what?"

"So what? SO WHAT?!" Hermione looked as of she could kill someone now. "The fact of the matter is that I slaved away last night, trying to make you a great dinner, and you couldn't even have the decency to come home when you said that you would?! I've been in hospital and I might be dying of something, and you can't even spend one freakin' evening with me?!"

She expected for him to start apologizing now. After all, he had been too wasted last night to say anything.

But all he said was," You're my girlfriend. And that's that. I do what I want, and you do what I say. So shut up, all right?"

Then he stormed into their bedroom and slammed the door shut.

She was stunned. She hadn't expected that. His words had been so harsh, and the expression on his face had been so cold.

She collapsed onto the floor, and burst into tears.

....

Okay then- I hope you liked that! It's a bit hard to write this angsty stuff without it sounding too over the top. And there's going too be quite a bit of romance soon, hopefully-the only thing is, that I'm not very good at writing it. I'm having a few problems deciding why Harry's become like he has. I've decided why, but I'm not exactly sure whether it's a strong enough explanation. I'm not doing it from his point of view 'cos he's not one of the main characters, even though he looks it. The main characters are Hermione and though mystery guy. Also, it's hard to get inside his head, 'cos even I'm a bit unsure of what his thoughts are.

You should be very happy 'cos this is way long and I find it very hard to write long chappies! (Long for me anyway, if not for you!)

I'm not doing any responses 'cos my A/Ns are long enough with having too explain stuff-maybe later. It's 'cos I don't want to get banned again.

Am hoping to update soon-am a bit stuck for what to do next-but till then, please review!!


	4. Let go of what you can’t have

**Chapter 4: Let go of what you can't have**

She opened the door and stepped into "Ginny's". It belonged to Ginny, who had made a big name of herself in the fashion business of the wizarding world. She had originally pursued a career in Quidditch, and had looked to be a very promising young player, but her dreams were shattered when she gained a permanent injury during the final of the Qudditch World Cup. Hermione remembered it as if it had happened only yesterday:

(FLASHBACK)

Harry was pacing in the waiting room at St. Mungos' when Hermione walked back in with drinks.

"What did they say, then? Do you know what's happening yet?" she asked.

"No," Harry shook his head furiously. "They aren't telling me anything yet, because I'm not family. Ron's tried to get them to let me in, but they still refused."

Hermione couldn't believe that this was happening. Only this morning Ginny was telling her how happy and excited she was to have made it so far….

….

"I can't believe that is happening to me," she told Hermione. "It's been my dream ever since I joined the team at Hogwarts. This is going to be the best day of my life, even if I don't win, because at least I'll be able to say I've played it."

Hermione replied by saying, "Don't worry. You'll definitely win. You're the best player there is!"

Ginny grinned at her. "Thanks, Mione. I really appreciate your support."

Then Hermione gave her a big hug and said," You're welcome. I'm just so glad that you're living your dream. I can't think of anyone who deserves it more."

Neither of them had worried about how dangerous this might be for Ginny. Even her usually overly protective brothers, who had all been there to watch her play, had been too excited to think about something like that. Thanks to Ginny's position, and the fact that most of the Weasley's now held very high positions in the Ministry, they had some of the best seats to watch from. They had been sitting there for seven hours when it happened. The match had been exciting to watch, and Hermione loved Quidditch, but now she was beginning to feel tired. (The boys were typically showing no signs of feeling tired and were as animated as ever. She knew it was a bad idea, coming here with seven rowdy boys when she knew that there weren't going to be any other girls there.) The players had taken a few breaks, but she could see that Ginny was looking exhausted. Quidditch rules stated that every two hours there would be a ten-minute break, then after eight hours the players would switch with the reserve players. But Hermione knew that if Ginny weren't in the game when it ended, then she would be devastated.

"C'mon, you guys, you can do it," she prayed. Ginny's team was up by a hundred and ten points, but the other team could still win if they caught the snitch.

Then it happened. The English seeker caught the snitch! Ginny's team had won the World Cup!

Hermione and the boys went mad. Hermione started screaming and hugged Harry, who was sitting next to her. Then Weasley boys started shouting in delight and Fred and George let off some of their home-made fireworks that they made especially. They exploded with a BANG, then formed the words "Ginny Weasley" in the air. It was a great moment, but then Ron saw something that made him scream.

"GINNY!"

They all turned to look at what he had seen. Then Hermione's blood ran cold. Ginny had been hit badly by two bludgers and was speeding towards the ground with immense speed. Hermione whipped out her wand and screamed "Conquietum!" Ginny stopped in mid-air, which gave mediwizards a chance to fly over to her and take her to safety.

"You guys, we have to get to her," Hermione screamed. The guys nodded in agreement, and they apparated over to the edge of the pitch, where she was being taken care of. The security guards let the Weasleys go to her because they were family but they wouldn't let Harry or Hermione go. Bill and Percy came back to them to tell them what was going on. "They're taking her to Mungo's, if you want to go meet us there," Bill said.

"What's wrong with her?" Hermione was practically shrieking now.

"We don't know. The healers will tell us when we get there, I expect," Bill replied. "Mum and Dad are here too, and there coming with us as well." Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had been sitting separately from them.

"All right then. We'll see you there," Harry said.

….

Hermione was torn away from her thoughts when she saw Ron burst into the room. She and Harry jumped to their feet and started shooting questions at him.

"How is she?"

"Is she all right?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"Can we go see her now?"

"Where are they keeping her?"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down! You know that I'm limited when it comes to brainpower!" Ron stopped. "Wait. That didn't come out right."

Harry laughed at his friend's idiocy, but Hermione wasn't in the mood for jokes. "C'mon Ron, stop goofing around and put us out of our misery already!"

"Ok, god, take a chill pill, Mione!"

The next second a flying cushion hit him full on in the face.

Ron glared at Hermione, then told the two that Ginny was going to be fine. "The others sent me to tell you that, and also that you are allowed in now."

As they steeped out the room, Harry turned around and gave Ron a look before asking, "A "chill pill"?"

Ron just grinned at this. "I just wanted to see her reaction when I said that to her!"

Harry shook his head at him. "I swear you just ask for trouble."

Ron took them into the room that Ginny was in. It was already overly crowded, and the healer looked very uncomfortable.

"The healer didn't want to let so many people in here," Ron whispered. "But then Mum had a talk with him. You can imagine how that went," he finished with a grin.

Hermione had a look at the healer again. Now that she thought about it, he did look a little scared.

"So is Ginny ready to go home yet?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Umm, not yet, there's something that we've found when taking a W-Ray."

"A what?" Hermione asked Ron in a whisper.

"It's kind of like a magical X-ray." He whispered back.

Hermione saw Mrs. Weasley clutch Ginny. She saw the look of fear on her face, and felt so much sympathy for the woman who had treated Hermione like a daughter, when her own hadn't been able to do the same.

"I'm afraid that Miss Weasley sustained a permanent injury when playing, and this may sound drastic, but I've been talking to my colleagues, and we've come to the conclusion that it would be in Miss Weasley's best injury not to fly ever again, in case she were to cause even more damage."

Seeing that everyone was dumbstruck, Mr. Weasley asked, "What exactly is wrong with her, sir?"

The human anatomy was always something that Hermione had struggled with, and she, like Harry, Fred, George and Ron, couldn't really understand what the healer was now saying. She was in too much shock to take in any more information anyway. Ginny lived for Quidditch. How would she cope with this news? Hermione knew that if her dream had been taken away from her, then she wouldn't have been able to cope.

"Oh well. Onto something else, then."

Everyone stared in amazement to hear Ginny say this, even the healer.

"She's just in shock…" Mr. Weasley said nervously.

"No, I'm not," Ginny interrupted fiercely.

"Ginny, dear, what are you saying? Didn't you like playing then?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

She turned to face her mother. "Are you kidding me? Mum, I loved it. When I was out there…it's so hard to find the words to describe it. I felt so exhilarated, so free… I had so much control. I could show everyone what I was made of, and I was one of the best. The sounds of the crowd, cheering me on every time I scored; the people who would come running to me for pictures, autographs, anything: they all loved me. You know what some little kid said to me today? She called me her hero. She said she wanted to be just like me when she was older."

At this point, Ginny had to pause her to wipe away the tears that were falling down her face.

"It's not that I didn't love it Mum, 'cos I did. It was my life. But it's like what I said to Mione today: playing in the Cup was my dream. Just being able to say that I'd done it would be a great achievement, even if I hadn't won. I did win though: and even though, ideally, I would've liked to play many more cups to come, it doesn't matter that I can't, because I received the highest achievement possible in Quidditch today. I knew that I wouldn't be able to play on forever, I just didn't realise that my career would be ended so soon, at 18 years old. But I count my blessings that I wasn't injured more severely, and I'm glad that I've gone out like this, with a bang, in a way in which people will remember me."

Fred broke the silence that followed Ginny's awesome speech by declaring this the longest period of time the Weasley family had been silent for. Everyone in the room started to laugh. Mrs. Weasley gave Ginny a hug and said, "Well, dear if you're happy, then I'm happy."

"Group hug!" George shouted, and everyone piled in.

Ginny squealed, being the one in the middle. "Careful, guys! I'm still injured y'know!"

Mrs. Weasley yelled, "Everybody off! First person to cause any more damage to my daughter gets it from me!"

Everyone backed off. Then the rest of Ginny's teammates piled in, and chaos ensued in the room once more once everyone started celebrating their victory. She'll be all right, Hermione thought, as she watched her friend. Ginny's one of the strongest people I know. She'll find some new career, and be just as successful.

(END OF FLASHBACK)

And she had. Ginny's label was now in great demand, not only with the public, but also with the celebrities of the wizarding world. They were always begging her for an outfit to wear at some A-list event or another. This meant that she was usually very busy and it had been a while since Hermione had seen her. But now she felt like she really needed someone to talk to, and there was no one who knew her better than Ginny, or who she felt more at ease talking to about such things. She had been the best girl friend that Hermione had ever had, and she felt like she really needed Ginny's support at the moment.

"Hi, how may I help you?"

Hermione turned around to see whom it was who was talking to her. She saw a woman sitting at a desk with a gold plaque that said "Secretary" imprinted on it. The woman was wearing a smile that was not very different to the ones normally seen in an advert for toothpaste.

"Hi, my name is Hermione Granger. I was wondering if I could talk to Ginny?"

"I'm sorry," replied the woman, not sounding sorry in the least, "I'm afraid that Miss Weasley is occupied for the moment with a client."

"Alright, I'll wait until she's done then."

The woman didn't look very happy about this. The smile had slipped off her face, and had been replaced with a frown. "I don't think that's a very good idea. I would suggest that you make an appointment, and Miss Weasley will see you then."

"Look, I'm a friend of hers, and this is important," Hermione argued back. "So, if you don't mind, I'll wait right here, thank you very much."

The woman looked livid now. "I'm afraid that's not possible. There is a way we like things done here, and I'm afraid that you must abide by the rules, "friend" or not."

Hermione was outraged by the secretary's behaviour, and as just about to give her a piece of her mind when she saw a door open on her right, and out came Ginny.

"Mione! I thought I heard your voice!"

She ran over to Hermione and the two women hugged. The secretary did not look very happy about this, and opened her mouth to say something, but Ginny stopped her before she could.

"Hilda, this is my best friend in the whole world, and if she comes in here again, I want you to let it be known to me straight away, okay?"

Hilda did not look very happy at this but nodded grudgingly.

Ginny turned back to Hermione and said, "Let me just finish up in here then I'll be with you, alright?"

"Sure," Hermione replied.

Ginny disappeared back into the room and a few moments later, out she came with an attractive woman who looked to be in her mid thirties.

"See you later then, Cassie!"

Ginny waved to the woman, and then gestured for Hermione to step into her office. It was a most beautifully decorated room, for Ginny had very exquisite taste. Hermione had been to the building a couple of times before but that was when it was in the process of being built. A few years earlier Ginny had a place further up North but it had been destroyed in the war. Being the fighter she was Ginny was determined not to let the incident ruin her career and had straight away started looking for an area to build a new workplace.

"So what brings you here, Mione?" Ginny asked, settling herself down in a large black office chair behind her desk, and following her lead, Hermione parked herself on a seat that sat in front of it.

"What, now I can't come and visit you now that you're such a big-shot fashion designer? Do we little people not fit into your glamorous lifestyle or something?"

Ginny laughed and gave her hair a toss before replying.

"You know that you're welcome to come round any time you want Hermione! No matter what pompous secretaries may think," shooting a dirty look at the door. "Just because she went to Clanden, one of the most prestigious wizarding universities in the magical world, she thinks she's all that…stupid egotistical cow..."

Hermione could not help but laugh. Yes, this was the same old Ginny that she knew and loved. Very sweet and caring, but also highly useful for a bitching session, if the occasion called for it.

"But seriously Mione," Ginny continued. "You haven't been here for a while, and to be honest with you, you don't look as if you're in very good shape to me."

Hermione was silent for a moment or two. "I'm fine, honestly. I was just sitting at home, since work had given me some time off, and-"

Ginny looked puzzled. "Why did they give you time off?"

Hermione gave her a confused look. "Because of the accident, of course."

Ginny gasped. "What? You were in an accident? Hermione, are you alright?"

Hermione was more confused than ever now. "Harry didn't tell you?"

"No he bloody well didn't ," Ginny exclaimed.

"God how like him," Hermione sighed

"Hermione I'm not concerned about that. I want to know happened!"

Hermione sighed and related the whole story to Ginny, leaving out the part about the stranger.

"Oh my god. Has the healer told you what was wrong yet?"

Hermione shook her head in response. "No, I don't know what's wrong yet. The results haven't come in."

Ginny looked worried now. "Are you scared?"

Hermione did not know how to respond to this. Was she scared? She had not really thought about it much. She'd had other things in her mind, like Harry's behaviour, and that stranger she'd seen…or not seen…

She was so immersed in her thoughts' that she failed to notice that Ginny was trying to seek her attention.

"Hello, Earth to Hermione?" Hermione was startled to se Ginny waving her hand in front of her face.

"Sorry Ginny, I was thinking about something that happened…at least, I think it did…"

"Mione I have no idea what you're on about. Would you care to take a moment to explain?"

Hermione looked wary. "You'll just think that I'm being silly."

Ginny gave her a look. "Hermione, you can tell me anything; you know that. If it's important to you, then it's important to me. "

Hermione sighed, and related the story to Ginny.

For a moment Ginny just sat there. Then she said, "And you've…fallen for this guy?"

"I knew that you'd think that I'm being silly."

Ginny sighed. "Hermione, you know that's not true, I just want to make sure that I understand what you're saying."

She found it hard to difficult to find the right words to explain what she meant. "I just felt…I don't know, Ginny, it's so hard to explain. I know it sounds dumb…but I can't stop thinking about him…

"Is it possible that you've fallen for him because you're craving something that you're lacking in your relationship with Harry?" Ginny asked, with a look of concern in her eyes.

Hermione found it hard not to laugh at her friend's question. "You sound like a psychoanalyst!"

Ginny furrowed her brows in confusion. "A what?"

Her friend sighed. "Never mind."

Ginny decided to carry on. "What I mean is Hermione…it's really what I've been saying all along…"

Hermione cut her off. "Stop right now, Ginny. I'm not interested in hearing any of that."

She stood up as if she was going to leave, but Ginny grabbed her arm and pulled her down."

"You have to stop running from me Hermione. I know why you haven't been to see me for such a long time. It's no use pretending you know."

"You can't tell me what top do."

The red-head shook her head exasperatedly. "Why don't you just get it through your head that I'm not trying to tell you what to do? I'm just trying to help you see what the rest of us already know. For God's sake woman, you're meant to be the intelligent one!"

"Ginny-"

"You are in danger whilst you stay with him. He's not right Hermione. Ever since the war, he's been…well, quite disturbed. I don't have to tell you this, you already know it. Why can't you just use your common sense and leave him?"

"Because I love him!' Hermione yelled.

Ginny shook her head furiously. "No, you don't! He's not the same person you feel in love with at Hogwarts, Hermione! The love between you back then was real and pure, there was no mistake about it; none of us could deny it. But what you have now is just a pathetic attempt at holding onto something you once had; what you have to accept Hermione is that the love that you both once had no longer exists, and that there 's no point in trying to find it again."

Hermione shook her head furiously. Ginny didn't understand. None of them did. "No…you're wrong…I love him Ginny! How could you all have turned against him so?"

"Because he's changed Hermione. The war affected us all in different ways; for some of us positively, and for the rest of us, like Harry…" Ginny paused. "Hermione, it's twisted him. Why can't you see that?"

Hermione shook her head defiantly. "He's the same sweet caring person…"

"I don't disagree that he can seem like his old self when he's in a good mood. But when he's not…." The young woman trailed off.

Hermione thought back to that morning. The way he'd spoken to her…the cold look in his eyes that was so unfamiliar…

No, she told herself. He's not like that. He was just a little bit stressed, that's all. That was perfectly normal. It wasn't uncommon for people to react in such a way when they were feeling pressured. That was it; he just wasn't feeling like himself.

She wasn't doing a very good job of convincing herself, and was feeling extremely confused. Either way she knew she had to get out of this place, and fast.

"I've got to go," she mumbled and made her way towards the door. Ginny flowed her and just before she could turn the doorknob she grabbed hold of Hermione's arm, looked her straight in the eye and whispered, "Please don't treat him as a replacement for what you-we-can't have."

Hermione saw a tear run down Ginny's face and for a moment the face of the successful confident businesswoman disappear, and was replaced with that of the young innocent girl she had once known.

"You have to let go Mione. We all have to."

Hermione also felt a tear grace her cheek and pulled away before she broke down.

She power walked to the toilets, trying to make herself composed as not to alarm the customers who were waiting for Ginny.

As she attempted to recover some of the damage caused to her make up (black eye make up running down your face was so not a good look), she reflected on the heated conversation she and Ginny had just shared.

She was so confused. Half of her felt indignant about what Ginny had just said. Whom she dated was her business and her business only.

Then again, she thought as she wiped the last trace of smudged make up off. Was there some truth in what Ginny had said to her? Where the rest of them right, and was she the one who was in the wrong?

Was she really trying to replace the one who she couldn't have?

She collapsed onto the floor and buried her face in her heads.

"Oh Ron," she whispered in between tears. "Why'd you have to go?"

**A/N: Sorry people for the wait, only just had time to finish this, and it's kina been done in a hurry! Was going to add 3 more long scenes in this, but I thought I'd save it till later. Once I've posted the next chapter, you guys can tell me whether I should merge 'em. This is quite long anyway. Hope you liking it! I just really wanted to put something up!**


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